March 2012
January 2012
Today at my school the was a big crowd in the quad, basically the center of the school. Everyone at first thought it was a fight, when I got closer I found two guys sitting on the ground playing Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots with the whole crowd cheering them on. MLIA
today i did the Yahoo! vs Google war. i typed in “Timmy is…” Yahoo gave me “cool” and google gave me “a purple unicorn dressed as a young boy. well done, google, you are now my homepage. MLIA
Today, I read a post that said “Yesterday I read a MLIA about two girls putting spoons under their pillows and not having school the next day….so I tried it that night. Guess what I didn’t have today? MLIA.” I then decided to do that tonight. Then I realized, I graduated today, so I wouldn’t have school tomorrow anyway. Guess it worked! MLIA
December 2011
Today, I asked my Ipod what song would be played at my funeral. It gave me “Gone So Young.” Thinking this was extremely stupid, I clicked the next song on shuffle and it gave me “Dead and Gone.” then “If I Die Young” Great… Thanks a lot Ipod. MLIA
Today, I decided to join in the Google vs. Yahoo war. I typed in “What would happen if i”. Yahoo said “What would happen if I took viagra”. Google said “what would happen if i poured self-raising flour on an orphan”. I think we all know who won. MLIA
Today, I was out last minute Christmas shopping with my dad. We came out of the store that we were shopping in to find an elderly lady having her purse stolen by a man. My dad started running towards them, but the lady had it under control. Before the man could start running, she said very calmly, “Swiper, no swiping!” three times. The man exclaimed “Aw man!” and dropped...
Today, my friend told me he was horrible at spelling. So of course I commenced to give him a spelling test. He was spelling everything correctly when I made a great realization…I had been texting him the entire time and he had the answers from my text…epic…fail…MLIA
Today at my brother’s basketball game he got to shoot some free throws. Everyone gets quiet when our team takes shots so right after he threw the ball someone yelled “For Narnia!” Then on his second shot they yelled “For Aslan!” Made. My. Day. MLIA
Today, my teacher’s phone went off in class. Her ringtone was the Super Mario Brothers theme. MLIA
today in english I read “Today I noticed that everyone screams like a girl… It would just be awkward if somebody screamed in a really low pitched voice” out loud in my english class, and everyone around me tried to scream in a low pitched voice…MLIA
The other day, my family and I ordered Chinese food. After we finished eating, I ate my fortune cookie but wasn’t satisfied with my fortune. Since they send five fortune cookies and we only have four people in our family, I ate the last one to try and get a better fortune. It was empty. This has happened to me three times now… Apparently, you can only have one fortune. MLIA.
Today, I found out that in New Zealand, where I live and grew up, there’s a mountain called Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu. It is the longest place name in an English speaking country. Guess what it means? “The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved...
Today, we were teaching my teacher various text words, like brb and lol. Then, one of the girls stood up and yelled WTF! My teacher froze and was about to yell at her (because he knew that one), when one of the guys stood up and yelled “WTF means “Wee! That’s Fun!”. Good save, Dan. MLIA
Today, I read an MLIA submission that said “Today I found a website which has, of all things, Harry Potter pick-up lines.” Needless to say, I instantly Googled it. There are many, and all I can say is I’d go out with anyone who used any of these on me. MLIA
At school, I brought legos and set them up during Government class. When my teacher asked why I brought them, I proceeded to explain, “Harry Potter and Dobby are protecting my test from the Dark side which consists of Lucius Malfoy and seven clone warriors from Star Wars who were trying to overthrow the Ministry of Magic(my test)”. When I got the test back, I noticed a +20 points for...
Today, my dad’s friend Pants (yes, that is his nickname) had to have his leg amputated below his knee because of a blood clot. We’ve known for a while this was going to happen and to prepare, my dad and his friends went and stole the leg from a store mannequin to give to him as a get-well-soon gift. Hopefully he finds it as amusing as everyone else does. MLIA
The other day, I had just opened my checkout lane at the grocery store. My first customer, a women came up to me and complained that we were out of Coke. I polietly told her that we had some Coke at the end of aisle 3. She screamed at me that she had checked there already and that our store was full of idiot workers who didn’t know anything. Then she stormed off. Right before I had opened my...
Today, I was eating breakfast with my four year old neice. She accidentally hit the table twice while eating. She then automatically apologized to the table, twice. I’ve taught her well. OLAA.
Today, I was sitting in Anatomy reading this site. Then, out of nowhere my teacher said, “I wish I could just take my bladder out and empty it out the window.” Me too Mrs. Brown, me too.
Today it was the 70th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I walked into AP U.S. History only to find capitalized on the board “WE WILL NEVER FORGET.” Right next to it was the word Pokemon with an ornate X drawn through it. It took the entire class a while to figure out that the word “Pokemon” was a reference to the Japanese kamikaze fighters. Who had drawn it on the board? Our...
Today I told the computer ‘Thank you’ twice for correcting a misspelled word. MLIA
Today we were driving on the freeway and my brother was hanging his hand out of the window. Suddenly, some random motorcyclist drove up really close and gave him a high-five. Easily made my day. MLIA
Today, I was babysitting two girls. One of the girls handed me a box of macaroni to make and I bowed grandly saying “gracias.” Her reaction? “Sorry, I don’t speak Chinese.”
Next week, I’m moving into a new house with some friends (I’m 21 and a student). The house is a beautiful old Victorian building, in a convenient location, loads of space etc, but that’s not what I’m excited about. No, I’m excited because 1. We’ll have space to play hide and seek and build amazing forts, 2. There are toy soldiers glued in random places around...
Today, on my way to school we passed a gas station. I was angry as I looked at how low the gas price is now that I don’t have a working car, then I noticed a horse pulling a carriage into the gas station. I’m still confused on why they were there. MLIA
November 2011
Today I found a shop within a one mile radius selling American candy without ridiculous prices. I live in Britain, and spent my exam leave making my first ever jug of kool aid, eating jaw busters and eating marshmallow fluff. I have missed out on so much. MLIA.
Today, I asked my Ipod how I will die. It’s answer? I’m on a boat.
I’m going fishing tomorrow. MLIA
Today, a bird flew into the auditorium my class is in. The auditorium has no windows and you have to go through 3 sets of doors to get inside. Ninja bird = win. MLIA
Today I saw a story asking where dinosaur-shaped doughnuts come from. I have never been so proud to live in Australia. I see them everyday. MLIA.
Today in Precalculus we were discussing the concept of the mathematical symbol “e”, ya know, the one used in accounting and biology and stuff to predict trends… whatever. Our teacher gave us the approximated value of 2.718, and then went on to say how it’s sad that Pi gets all the attention because it has its own day, simply because 3.14 can be “translated” to...
Today I read a story that said “Today I read a post that said. “Today I read a post that said, “The Asians at my school have a group called S.W.A.G. It means Something We Asians Got. I wish I was Asian. MLIA.” I would like to point out the fact that the “A” could also stand for “Americans”.” I would furthermore like to point out that the...
Today me and my friends we’re on google searching up pictures of celebrities. One of my friends suggested to search up Justin Bieber but when we pressed the search button it wouldn’t work and my internet crashed. Good to know google is on our side. MLIA.
On the first day of school, my math teacher had us line up in the back. He would say our name and point to a random seat where we should sit. When he realized that there was a James and a Lily (me) in his class, he jumped and yelled, “JAMES AND LILY! LIKE HARRY POTTER’S PARENTS!” He was so excited he put us next to each other front and center row. Now even when he redoes our...
Today, my brother got annoyed with me, so he pulled the Gryffindor sign off of my door and ripped it up. I continued to scream at him for five minutes, finishing with “AVADA KEDAVRA!” He’s making me a new one right now. MLIA.
Today i played laser tag with some friends. Everyone wore colorful clothes but i was the only one that thought to wear black. I was hiding in a corner when i proceeded to ninja roll across the floor, shoot someone and roll back. My friend started frantically looking around and thought her machine was broken. i feel like ive accomplished the art of becoming a ninja. MLIA
Last night I set my alarm. This morning I woke up twenty minutes before my first class ended. I had set my alarm for p.m. I’m the teacher… MLIA
Today I dressed as Waldo, hoping to make someone’s life more average. I went to the mall, and the second I walked in the door, I saw three other people dressed as Waldo too. MLIA
Last week, I was working at a bagel shop that also sells cookies and muffins. One of the muffins had a toothpick in it because it was a different flavor. However when one of the customers asked me why it was there I said, “It has been marked for death by the muffin assassin.” They bought the muffin. MLIA
When one of my friends went on vacation, her parents plastered her high-school brother’s suitcase with disney princess stickers so it wouldn’t get lost. HerLIA
Today, while my family and I were driving around town, we got to a stoplight. There was a guy there who was selling newspapers. He suddenly held up a sign the said “NEED MONEY FOR SPACESHIP PARTS! PLEASE HELP!”. Needless to say one of us bought a newspaper and wished him a good luck on getting the spaceship parts. MLIA.
Today I had to log out of an ap because it came up as a loading screen advertising for some ap i would have to buy. Instead of a ‘close’ button it said “dinosaurs suck” I couldn’t bring myself to push the button and instead turned my ipod off. MLIA
Today, there was an awkward silence between me and my boyfriend. He filled it with, “if gingers have no soul then if someone tells you a secret and says ‘dont tell a soul’ can you tell a ginger?” This relationship will work out just fine. MLIA.
Today, Me and My cousin went to A to Z sporting goods. We find pointer fingers and started fencing each other. we then got a applause from the entire store and the fingers free.MLIA
Today I asked cleverbot if it preferred frozen yogurt to ice cream. It said ice cream is better, so I asked what its favorite flavor was. It then replied with the answer “Blood.” A little weirded out, I said “Mine too.” What did it say then? “It’s a common favorite.” MLIA
I was just thinking that I never have an MLIA moment when I drive passed my house and see a little boy dressed as a ninja trying to scare an old lady. The old lady then proceeds to turn around and tell the little boy that ninjas are supposed to be asian. MLIA.
Today, the power went out at my school. Sometimes they let us go home early if they can’t make lunch. When they made the announcement that we would be dismissed, both me and my teacher at the same time screamed, “YES!!!! I CAN GO TO HARRY POTTER!!!! Coolest drama teacher ever. MLIA.
I am in the Apple store, switching as many iPads as possible to this site. MLIA.
October 2011
Today, I cooked a bunch of dino chicken nuggets for dinner. Needless to say, there were small high-pitched screams to follow. MLIA
Today, I saw “vote BATMAN 2012” written on the sidewalk at my college. If I ever register to vote, I am definitely voting for batman. MLIA.